


With The Stars

by meredithhildebrand



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Baz finally drops the big question, Boys In Love, Fluff, M/M, Two idiot boys in love, finally wrote my own proposal fic, proposal, some chapter 48 vibes up in here, these two idiots deserve all of the happiness that the world has to offer, they're so in love, twinkle twinkle little star
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 08:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11249811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meredithhildebrand/pseuds/meredithhildebrand
Summary: With a last deep breath, I open my mouth again, to ask one of the most important questions of my life. Merlin, I still can't believe that this is happening. I never thought that I would be able to have this. I didn't think that it would ever be possible. But it is. It completely is.





	With The Stars

**_SIMON_ **

 

Baz has been acting weirdly suspicious lately. And I know that I'm oblivious to basically everything, which is why I think that he thinks that I don't suspect anything. 

_Ha. If only._

He hasn't been able to look at me for more than ten seconds without blushing, which is strange, since he hasn't fed for two nights. Knowing Baz, who doesn't get embarrassed very often, this is admittedly fun for me to watch.  
I look over at him from my spot on the couch, where's sitting at the kitchen counter, with his back to me.  
This would be so much easier to bear if he could just tell me what's going on. But, knowing Baz, he can't do anything wrong, which means that he hasn't talked to me for at least an hour about any of this. He's an idiot for doing so. I've tried to crack him so many times, but he hasn't budged. _Not even an inch._  
I would say that it bothers me, but I love seeing him riled up. I love seeing him blush. And I love being the one who makes him that way.  
I swallow, and stand up slowly from the couch. I run my fingers through my curls and smile at him even though I know that he can't see me.  
I take a step towards him, and he lets out an exhale. I can almost hear his smirk through it.  
I roll my eyes.  
"Simon, I can hear you, you know," Baz says, and I press my tongue to my inner cheek and swallow. I can't sneak up on him anymore.  
I walk up to him, and he sharply inhales. My arms wrap around his waist and I rest my chin on his shoulder, turning my head towards him. I grin.  
"I know," I whisper, and kiss his neck. His skin is cool.  
Baz inhales again, and I can feel his skin growing warmer, and I know that he's blushing by now. _I always know._  
"Simon," he murmurs, and his voice is low. It makes my stomach fill with butterflies.  
I start to kiss his jawline, his cheek, his neck. He lets out a soft breath and his hands come to rest on mine, and his fingers wrap around my own. I grin against him.  
"Tell me what's going on," I say softly, and he inhales sharply. I wish that I could know what he's thinking.

  
**_BAZ_ **

 

Crowley, I don't know how much longer I can bear not tackling Simon to the ground. I don't know how much self-control I have left.  
Simon, the glorious, idiotic prat that he is, starts to kiss my neck again. His mouth is starting destroy any semblance that I have left, and it's all I can do to not kiss him senseless.

He's driving me crazy, so crazy. His mouth against my skin is killing everything that I'm trying to think, and I wish that I wasn't always so susceptible to him. It would make my life, it would make _this_ , so much easier.

My eyes close, and I swear that I can feel the weight of the ring box  in my pocket thrumming against my leg. I don't know how I can make it stop.

_Damn you, Snow. Damn you for making me so weak._

I exhale and swallow, and Simon kisses up and down my neck, kisses my cheek, kisses the skin right below my ear. His mouth is leaving hot trails of fire on my skin. I don't know how much longer I can take this, my head is going hazy and my stomach is bottoming out, and I am suddenly overcome with a fierce, undeniable thirst for him.

He's like a fire, touching me and making me turn into the flames on the spot. 

_He knows that I can burn. He knows, he knows, he knows._

I can almost feel the smirk on his lips whenever they touch me. His hands are wrapped around my waist, and they feel like flames pressing into my skin.

_He knows that him, and him alone, can make me turn into ashes. And he doesn't even do anything about it._

Simon opens his mouth, and the soft breath of warm air that comes from his mouth makes my head spin. Merlin, I don't know how to deal with this. He's making me fall apart.

"I love you," he whispers, softly, and that's what makes my last ounce of self-control wither away.

 _He has no idea._  

With a heavy, gasping breath, I turn to face him and grasp his face in my hands, heavily pressing my lips to his in a fervid haze of want. Crowley, I don't know what I did to last this long, but it was worth it because Simon's mouth is warm, and soft, and completely making me fall apart on the spot. He knows how to destroy me. My hands wrap around his lower back and pull him closer, closer, closer to me until his chest presses against my own. His fingers tangle into my hair and he slightly pulls, and I think that I can see stars. Merlin, he's intoxicating. My fingers slide underneath his jumper, and his skin is warm, so warm, underneath my hands. 

_He's burning me on the spot. Burning, burning, burning._

 

_Burning._

 

**_SIMON_ **

 

Baz's lips are heavy and warm against mine, and I don't know why I waited this long to feel his mouth. It tastes like chocolate. Like everything good in the world.

I wrap my arms around his neck and tangle my fingers up into his hair, and he softly moans against my mouth. His hands are pressed against the bare skin of my back, and his fingers grip my hips. My head goes hazy. Merlin, Baz is a fantastic kisser. If I didn't want to lose the last ounce of self-dignity that I have, I would probably say that he's better than me. 

But, since we've both been in battle with each other about basically everything, I don't think that I can. It would sky-rocket Baz's self-confidence up to the moon. 

And I would like to have something above him, for once. Just so that my equilibrium is at a manageable level.

Baz leans into the kiss, pushing me back farther, even farther. My chest fills with a pocket of air and I think that I'm being torn apart, by Baz's hands. Being torn apart right in front of him.

Baz exhales into my mouth and his hands tangle into my curls and he slightly pulls in return, which just makes me fall apart a little bit more. He knows that that drives me crazy. He knows that _he_ drives me crazy. He's always known it, even if I didn't know that he did. 

I gasp softly, and Baz smiles against my mouth. His lips move to my jawline, and he kisses the skin, and I close my eyes and refrain from shuddering. Stars fill the backs of my eyelids, and they seem so close to me that I could reach out and take one. My stomach drops into the floor and Baz's mouth is back against mine, warm and intoxicating and capable of turning me into flames. 

I swallow and pull away to catch my breath, and I press my forehead to his. Baz's hands are lost somewhere up my shirt and our heavy breaths mix together, warm and dizzying. My hands grasp the sides of his face, my fingers sliding up into his hair. It feels like silk. Merlin, he's wonderful. I don't want to let go of him. 

 

**_BAZ_ **

 

Simon's eyes are closed, and I slide my hand up to cup one side of his face. His skin is warm. I grin; I can't help it. He's mine. I have him, here with me, and he's not going to let go. Hell, _I'm_ not going to let go of him, if I can help it. 

He shuts his eyes and his arms wrap around my neck, and I can feel his warm breath on my mouth. It's dizzying, and I pull him closer to me just so that I can feel tied to something. I swallow. 

I feel the pounding of the ring box against my leg, and I let out a heavy breath. My heart is a kick drum in my chest, beating loudly and I wonder if Simon can actually hear it. Maybe the he'll know how nervous I am. I don't know how I'm going to do this.

My arms wrap around his waist and I kiss his forehead. He's quiet, and he's still breathing heavily, almost as if he's just been running in a marathon. I wonder what he's thinking. 

"You're perfect," I murmur, and Simon laughs softly. The sound fills my ears and it makes my face pull apart into a huge grin, and I let out a breath. He's mine. _Mine_.

 

**_SIMON_ **

 

Baz grins against me and I close my eyes. My heart is beating fiercely in my chest, pounding against my ribs and wanting to burst into dust. I let out a breath and swallow, and Baz pulls his wand out of his back jean pocket. My stomach drops and a pure feeling of intensity fills my chest cavity, and I have no idea about what he's doing.

Baz clears his throats and I swallow. He exhales heavily. My head feels light, and I grip his shoulders tightly so that I don't feel like I'm about to float away. 

"Simon," Baz murmurs throatily, and I swallow heavily and inhale. I let out a soft smile.

Baz takes a deep breath, and opens his mouth to speak. His breath comes out in small bursts, and I shut my eyes. 

One of Baz's hands grips my shoulder, and the other is grasping his wand so tightly that I think he might break it. 

" **Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,"** he suddenly says, with magic, and my breath almost stops in my throat. My stomach feels like it's bottoming out and I feel like the floor is cracking apart beneath my feet. I feel like a light-weight. My heart stops beating in my chest, and I don't know what to do. I don't have my magic anymore; I can't help him. I can't help him anymore. 

Baz takes a heavy breath, and says it again. His voice is thunder; loud and strong and capable of making the Earth shudder. I feel like I'm falling. Falling, falling, falling. 

He exhales deeply, and grips his wand even tighter. " **Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,"** he says again, and I swallow heavily. 

The ground falls apart beneath me, this time for real, and suddenly we're transported into space. Galaxies and supernovas and moons and stars fade into view, and it's beautiful. Completely beautiful. I lose track of everything and just stare. 

Baz lets out a heavy breath and pulls his head away from mine, and he fumbles for my hands and grasps them. Purple light is cast onto his pale skin, and my stomach feels like it's made out of air. 

I look at Baz, and his eyes are staring back at me. His mouth is curved into a wide grin, and I think that I'm falling for him all over again.

Baz's eyes are filled with stars. Blue, purple, red. His eyes hold galaxies. 

My heart beats heavily in my chest, and Baz grasps both of my hands in his tightly. His skin is warm and I can't help but grin so widely that my cheeks start to hurt. 

I swallow and look around us. Stars cover the night sky, and I think that I'm dreaming. It doesn't feel real. I mean, it _can't_ be real. 

But it is. I know it is. It's real, and Baz has brought us both back to space again. Merlin, I don't know what I ever did to deserve him. 

I let out a giddy laugh, and I can't stop grinning.

_I forgot how much I loved the stars._

I grip Baz's hands tightly, and my eyes follow the constellations. 

I still can't believe that he would do something like this for me. I never thought that we would do this again. Truthfully, I didn't think that it was possible. But it is. All of it, all of this, is possible. It's real. Completely real. 

 

**_BAZ_ **

 

Even though I would love to look at the stars, all I really want to do is look at Simon. This boy in front of me, who finally made me feel like I could take a breath in a world where I felt like I was worthless. He's incredible. 

Simon's blue eyes are reflecting the stars,  and I swear that I've never seen him this happy. The starlight is catching on his bronze curls, turning them into shades of blue, purple, pink. He looks out of this world. He's beautiful. Angelic. Radiant. 

I grin. His mouth is pulled into the biggest smile that I've ever seen, and I feel so full of warmth. His eyes follow the stars and I don't even care that he's not looking at me, because this is all I've ever really wanted. To see him happy. To see him smile. 

As I'm sitting here, with him, I realize that it's all been worth it. Everything. Everything that's happened to us, it's all been worth something. 

_The world gave me him._

I clear my throat, and Simon's eyes flick to mine. The ring box in my pocket pounds against my leg and my heart feels like it's going to combust in my chest. Merlin, I'm a nervous wreck.

I swallow heavily, trying to relieve the intense pressure in my chest. I feel like I'm floating upwards, and I stare at Simon. His eyes are full of stars.

_He's mine._

I let go of a breath, and slide my hand into my pocket, slowly pulling out the box. The velvet texture of it feels smooth against my fingers, and I don't think that I've ever been this nervous before in my life. It's unsettling.

I pull out the box, and tightly hold Simon's hand in my own. When he sees it, his eyes widen and he grips my hand so hard that I think he might cut off my circulation. My heart pounds heavily in my chest and I feel like it might explode.

_I want to be free. Free. Free. Free._

I open my mouth to speak, and Simon's eyes go blurry. I heavily exhale.

 _Free_.

His hair is all shades of blue and purple and indigo, and I smile at him. He still looks completely taken by surprise.

 _Free_. It's a mantra inside my head, and I'm not going to let it fly away from me.

"Simon Snow," I say, and he gasps softly. I swallow heavily. I've never felt more alive than I have in this one, single moment, but it feels spectacular. 

"I love you," I say, and Simon's fingers are crushing my own but I don't care. All I care about is him, is this. This one, single moment that I've been waiting for my whole life.

 _Free_. The thought is intoxicating, and I feel like I could maybe get drunk off of it. I feel like I'm burning, but by my own fire. Not fire that I can't handle.

My heart is beating heavily against my ribs.

"You're my world, Simon. I've loved for almost half of my life, and I don't think that I'll ever stop loving you," I say softly, staring into him, and his eyes are beginning to go misty. I squeeze his hand harder.

"Simon, I don't want to live without you. Not a single day. I'm in love with you. Completely, hopelessly, absolutely in love," I continue, and Simon's mouth is slightly open. My heart feels like it's going to explode if I don't let it catch up with my brain, so I pause, taking a deep breath. My whole body feels shaky, weightless. Hollow.

With a last deep breath, I open my mouth again, to ask one of the most important questions of my life. Merlin, I still can't believe that this is happening. I never thought that I would be able to have this. I didn't think that it would ever be possible. But it is. It completely is. 

"Simon Snow," I say, and by now tears are falling slowly down his cheeks, "Will you do me the pleasure of marrying me?" 

Simon gasps and lunges forward, pressing his mouth hard against mine. His lips are warm and heavy and smooth against mine, and I feel like I'm slowly spinning out of control. Merlin, I want him. I want him here, with me. My head goes hazy and I wrap my arms around him, leaning into the kiss and pushing him back farther. I feel like my chest is filling with a current, making me new. Clean. Faultless. Like my boundaries, my limits, are falling apart and all that's left is the undying possibility of being free. Free. Completely free.

Simon pulls away and presses his forehead against mine. "Yes. Yes. I'll marry you," he says, and his eyes are so full of light and stars that I think that maybe he actually could be one. He's grinning so widely and I can't help but grin back. My arms wrap around him and I pull him into me, and I feel his tears on the fabric of my shirt. _I don't even care._

"I love you," I say, and Simon laughs. The sound seems too bright for this world. 

"I love you too, Baz," he says, and he presses his mouth against mine, turning my head into its own galaxy and making me feel like I'm falling into love with him all over again. 

It was all worth it. And now, I'm finally free. I have him, and I'm never letting go.

_Free._

_I'm never letting go._

He deserves the world. And the stars. And the galaxies. He deserves everything.

He healed me. He took me, and he saved me.    

He saved me.  He gave me a second chance. 

He saved me, even when I thought that I was too far gone. Even when I thought that I didn't deserve everything, he saved me. 

He set me free.

                             

                            ~END~                           

**Author's Note:**

> wow, so this took me a while to write, but honestly I'm happy with the result. Who doesn't love proposals, because they're totally my favourite things.  
> thank you all so, so much for reading this! I hope that you all enjoyed it:) thank you thank you thank you:)  
> also, Baz proposing in the stars kills me. So that's why I did it this way.  
> anyway, thank you all so, so much!


End file.
